It was Friday night, Little Man was in bed, hubby was working his 1st round of a 48hr shift, and the laptop was out and ready for a writing marathon of epic proportions. I went to get a little motivation heaven (Cookies ‘n Cream ice cream) to get the juices flowing, grabbed the bucket and… it squeezed inward from my hold.
Now, if you’re an ice cream expert, such as I, you know ice cream buckets should never, EVER, squeeze in your hands. It could only mean two things: It was almost empty, or it was melted.
I knew hubby had just gone grocery shopping and this was a new bucket. I thought hard. Did I eat a whole bucket of ice cream in the last day without knowing it? Could I have split personality disorder and my alternate identity is a ice cream eating hoarder? Could I be sleep-ice-creaming?
Being the ultra smart detective I am, I felt other items in the freezer for similar mush factors. Sure enough, they also felt as if they were thawing. What the hell?
So, I did what any other alone, clueless-to-mechanical-phenomena woman would do — I called my husband. After a lengthy, but weighty pause, he told me the freezer coils must have iced up again. Again?! What?! I felt the little bubbles of panic within me start to rumble around.
“What the hell do I do?” I asked.
After going through a list of friends around us who could NOT come over to help at 10:30 at night, we were left with one option: it had to be me.
Hubby rattled off a to-do list of how to tackle this menace in my kitchen, and I half-listened. I heard the words unscrew, panel, blow dryer, towels, coils, but none of it made sense to me when I eyed up the beast after I was off the phone. I must have opened and closed the freezer door six or seven times, thinking maybe, just maybe, I’d knock some sense into it and it would do its job, but it was steadfast in its stubborn resolve.
I was out of options (Maggie, Superdog of the Sofa, was snoring in her domain, so she couldn’t help), so I geared up and prepared to conquer the enemy on my own. I had to save the ice cream!!!
I dug deep and got to the guts of the beast. Here’s what I faced:
I learned more than I wanted to about a freezer that night. It took me about an hour and a half, but I was a freezer-kicking badass! The blow dryer became my lazer gun as I tackled the persistent frozen tundra of coils, never letting up… well, except when I was afraid the dryer would blow up in my hands, or when I thought my arm would fall off. But I prevailed dammit! And after I put it everything back together, I plugged that bad boy back in, felt the cold on my face, and smiled.
I was, and will remain, the Appliance Dominator!
There were a few casualties in the war, unfortunately. The ice cream didn’t make it, I’m sad to say. It is gone, but not forgotten. I know I will find it in my heart to love another bucket of Cookie ‘n Cream, but not today. Hubby doesn’t get to the grocery store until tomorrow.
So, how was your weekend? Learn anything new? Fight any monsters?